Life is short

I can not believe that this year is more than half way over. Sadie is 4 now and Lil' John is 6 almost 7 months old. How I cherish being their mother. I am truly blessed to have them and a wonderful husband who helps with everything he can.

These last few days I have been lost in thought. Death seems to be rearing his ugly face far to close for comfort into my life. 1st the death of a young athlete earlier last week. While I never knew him personally, he gave Idaho something to brag and smile about. We were all so proud of him. 2nd, the loss of a friend from jr high and high school, Josh. Josh was contagious in his joy. You could not help but smile around him and bask in the glow of his personality. I did not feel his death would affect me as it did. As it was, we had not really spoken since high school, but last year he started working at St. Luke's and I would periodically see him in the unit I work in. It was as if 5 years had never come between us, but just another lazy summer just like the years before when we were in school together. He was able to make me laugh in my terribly grumpy pregnant state, while at work and he personal sunshine never faultered no matter how hard his day was. I should have took notes, asked him how he was able to turn a completely awful day into sunshine and rainbows. But that was Josh, he was everyones rock, you could always lean on him. I am not too proud to say that I burst into tears when I found out about his death. Trying to find someone to lean on, I turned to my husband and mother. After crying a bit to my mom she said "Lisa, he must have fulfilled his purpose here on earth. It was just time for him to go home. Be happy for him, he is the lucky one." How true and bitter sweet her words are, for he truly is the lucky one. He will be so missed here on earth and at times I still feel it was unfair for him to be taken so early in life, but my mother is right, his purpose was fulfilled, he's gone home.
Facebook as been buzzing with memories and prayers for Josh. I hope that one day I will have made an impact on those around me like Josh has. My heart grieves for his family and I hope the are able to heal with time.

As the Grim Reaper come closer and closer to those in my life, I want to make sure you all know I love you. To all the friends, enemies, frienemies, loved ones, and everyone else in my life, thank you. Without you I would not be who I am today. Even with the hardships I've gone through in my life, I'd do it again just to make sure I got the same outcome as I do now. I do not know where's I be without Nate. I pray I never lose him, I don't think I could bare life without him. He has given me everything and I owe him more than my life. Thank you baby for your love support and for our 2 beautiful children. I hope to repay one day!

Life is short, unfair, and brutal, but I hope that I can be like Josh and have a smile on my face even when the going gets tough. As I read in another blog today about a mother who lost her beautiful baby girl to a drowning accident, "I can do hard things." I will do my best to live every moment to the best of my ability and smile more often. Life isn't all that bad, but it is far to short, so live it up!

With love,
Lisa